| XOXOXOXO |
[Tuesday, July 4th, 2006 @ 6:09pm] |
Whats Up....I havnt updated in a long time I know...Im sitting at home with nothing to do on the 4th of july...I miss so many people, & the oppritunities of getting closer to some of those people. I hope that Mr. Jones calls us to talk about his decisions...at least then I get to say goodbye to the object of my affection...
Anyway, Im doing my doin my thang at the Black Rep. which is cool. Im happy about this...who knows this could be where I get my start...yeah so luv 2 U all!!!
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| Be My Last |
[Monday, May 8th, 2006 @ 2:58pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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Be My Last --Utada Hikaru |
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Whats Up guys!
I cant wait for school to end...Im so bored witht hat place right now...anyway I guess Im going to go on another lonlyness rambling spree. Im so tierd of being alone. I stay at home so much & it kinda upsets me. I stay home simply because Im scared to leave my grandma here alone. There is always something that could happen when I leave. That is why I have to leave for colledge. My social life has suffered alot and Im not saying Im upset or mad, but I need that freedom for myself. I have grown alot over the past few years, but I still lack a part of myself that I know I can only find once I gain my independance...Im not trying to sound heartless, I love my grandma a lot but I need time to reflect on who and what I am. I have needed to cry for a long time, yet have been unable to get the tears to flow. GOD!!! This lady is hear yelling....let me get of the pc...
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[Thursday, April 6th, 2006 @ 5:28pm] |
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mood |
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 flirty |
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music |
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None, but humming \"About Me\" by Utada |
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Ummm...what can I say...this uber hot person is interested in me, I should probobly make the first move but I wont because thats not the trpe of person I am...lol Anyway Districs is like in two weeks or what ever so I am so excited...I didnt plan on trying out for the Spring Play, but I guess I am since I have like nothing else to do with my time. Pretty soo I am suppose to be working at the Black Reprotory Theater...until then my life is going to suck lol jking...Seriously though until I hook up Im going to be extra bored lol I recently got reallllly into Utada Hikaru. Ive been a fan of Simple and Clean, but now Im into some of her other stuff like Sakura Drops and stuff...Her English album is sooo different from her Japanesse stuff, but I still like it. My favs. have to be The Work Out, About Me, & Kremlin Dusk, eventhough the entire album Rocks!!!
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[Friday, March 17th, 2006 @ 4:10pm] |
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Wow!!! Last night I saw the movie Rent. I cried like 5 times during the course of the movie. I mean GOSH!!! It was so emotional and just impacting. I ready to cry just thinkling about it. I cant wait till I get to act. I want to impact people in a deep way just like that movie lol...The guy who played Angel is such a good actor lol, well everyone in the movie was a good actor...this is exactly what I needed to revive my passion for theater. Tommorow I am going to districts with my school, and I am so excited and ready, I am an emotional blob right now, and when I get to perform this piece, passion is going to be flowing from my soul.
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[Tuesday, March 14th, 2006 @ 4:00pm] |
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mood |
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 bouncy |
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HAPPY DAY!!!! Im so glad that my grades have risen enough for me to get back in Drama. That is really awsome. I need to keep improving them, but it shouldnt be too hard Lol
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[Monday, March 6th, 2006 @ 5:36pm] |
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mood |
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 anxious |
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music |
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Nothing, but Im humming One Sided Love by Mandy Moore |
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THe play has came and gone. I didnt go though...to depressing. Im in class...and bored to death...right now I have a D in Biology because I havnt turned in like5 homework assignments...which sucks major. I hope that my Jouornal will give me the boost I need...haha!! The teacher just announce that the journal is ovet 50 pts. That should boost my grade to a C, and the chapter test would give me a hi-C lol Cool!
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[Wednesday, March 1st, 2006 @ 10:47pm] |
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mood |
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 drained |
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music |
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Heart Shaped Box - Evanescence |
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Hola! I am kinda sad because the black history program is Friday....I put alot of energy into it so I hope it is a success...Im not going to see it though. In regards to my love life...its non-existant. I really want someone...not even someone to date, just someone who I can talk to and express my true feelings. I get kinda sad when I talk about this. It reminds me too much of my youth. I never had true friends, so its like a negative chapter of my life is being repeated. I hope some one captures me soon.
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[Thursday, February 23rd, 2006 @ 9:47pm] |
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mood |
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 content |
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music |
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Your Eyes - Alexz Johnson |
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Not feeling or doing much...I'm kinda sad that I cant go to the overnight tournament. It was so sweet how some of my freinds in the play say encouraging things in regards to. Its also cool how some of them were sincerely sad that I couldnt go to the overnight. I honestly didnt think they cared that much about me. Lol That Sooo made my day. So I hada a suckey test in math today...And I get the reselts of a test I took yesterday today...I Pray I did well on both of them...I need them for my grade MAJOR lol. Anyway, yeah...this teacher was suppose to get me a white tux for my act tommorow, yet she couldnt find one. BIG SURPRISE. Lol So Thats all for tonight I guess Chow
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[Wednesday, February 22nd, 2006 @ 1:05pm] |
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mood |
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 apathetic |
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It suxs so much that Im not going to the Black History Program. I really cant stand to. I dedicated so much time to it, and since I cant help with it, Im not going. My pal Iccammi told me I should, & that they were going to mention me, but it isnt the same...the bells about to ring
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[Monday, February 20th, 2006 @ 1:07pm] |
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mood |
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 enraged |
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music |
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Lies - Evanescence |
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Well I just got the greatest call of my Life...My mock Trial Coach actually yelled and basically cursed me out because I couldnt participate in the trial...I was to upset and angry to respond to him over the phone so I just listen to his cruel bashing. He seems to think that I honestly didnt want to participate, yet its my councilor who wont let me. I studied that trial like a bizzilion times just so I could be ready...I am so upset. I really wanted to do it, yet he doesnt think so. On top of that, I let down alot of people...I suxs that he is so...beast with fangs. I should have told him that his opinion was wrong over the phone, but I was too shocked that he was acting like that towards me of all people...
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[Tuesday, February 7th, 2006 @ 9:55am] |
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mood |
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 discontent |
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music |
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Hear Me - Kelly Clarkson |
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Hello All
Im at school right now and bored out of my mind...I am like assistant director for the black history program at school, so Im trying to get together some varuious details regarding it. I think its kind of interesting that we are having our program in March, but considering what happened last year, i guess thats good. Anyway im in a major delima, there is this drama tournament this friday, but Im suppose to go to this colledge for a program. On top of that, There is a torunament next friday & Saturday, but I suppose to be performing at the sam ecolledge so It kind of suxs...yeah thats all for now
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| Ummhmm |
[Monday, February 6th, 2006 @ 7:58pm] |
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mood |
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 indescribable |
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music |
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Where is your Heart -Kelly Clarkson |
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I feel like blah lol Im tierd and stuff, I really want to be in a relationship, but im soo scared...I would do almost anything for someone who claims to love me,I guess Im emotionally ready, and unready at the same time. Anyway since Im bored Im going to rank my top ten favorite songs today
10 Lock me in Your Heart ---Mandy Moore (Its so sweet and cool Mandy is so underrated)
9 Time to be Your 21 ---Alexz Johnson (If you watch Instant Star, you should soo know this song X-tra pretty song)
8 With or Without You ---Jadyn Maria and Grits (I know it doesnt sound like the original U2 Version, but it sounds very personal)
7 Leave (Get Out) ---Jojo (I bought this song last night and It is so cool...kinda like a mix between soft rock and R&b...when I start mixing songs, I want to have a Rock\R&B sound
6 Walk Away ---Christina Agulaiera (This song is so intune to my feelings...Ive never been in a relationship, but my emotions are like soo easy to play with & people take advantage of that)
5 Let me Fall ---Alexz Johnson ( Yeah another Instant Star song. I love this one alot...Its about declaring that you are growing up and that mistakes are a part of the process...personal to me)
4 Missing ---Evanescence (I LOVE Amy Lees voice, this song is a soft gothic rock blend, the lyrics are so impacting and emotional)
3 Dream You ---Stacie Orrico (Okay the official song has yet to be released, but the 30-40 second clip has me infatuated lol)
2 Where is Your Heart ---Kelly Clarkson (She has one of the prettiest voices EVER lol This song hits home with my heart regarding love, relationships and stuff)
1 Hear Me ---Kelly Clarkson (If the last song hits to heart for me, this song is my life lol, Its like you have been praying and crying for that one perfect person to hear you, but it has yet to happen)
Talk more soon
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| Hmmm |
[Monday, December 26th, 2005 @ 12:06am] |
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mood |
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discontent |
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music |
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Hello - Evanescence |
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My heart is so heavy...I have learned a personal truth about myself like 2 years ago lol. I need to expose it, but religious beliefs cause me to repress it. I hate that I live a life with two masks, and two different personalities. I guess thats all I can do until I find a confidant that will help me...I havent posted in like forever...im going to more often though...I get relife
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| Sure Yeah |
[Friday, June 24th, 2005 @ 10:45am] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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Okay so its like Friday yay...okaaay anyway, not much to say, I made a resume yesterday...I was searching for a job for like a long time but couldnt find on so its kinda cool that Ill be able to get one through harris stowe. Ummm I am bored to death! Im in Class right now. It really Suxs...I am definantly going back to Witchita next year...Anyway I bought these awsome glasses from Ebay..I have no idea when they will get here. Ohhh a while back I bought Stacie Orrico (my FAVORITE SINGER!?!?!?!?!) Say it Again Pre-Release I was sooo Happy...I still am lol. I think that Truth and Star of My Story should have been on Stacie Orrico but ohh well I guess. I have nothing else to say so Buh-Bye
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[Wednesday, June 22nd, 2005 @ 10:38am] |
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mood |
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indescribable |
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music |
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None, but I want to hear Rock You Sensless By Jadyn Maria |
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I know I havnt updated in like forever...Ive been going through some changes. Not physical, but more mental. I have to say its really awsome. Hmmm...theres so much I can say...This school year was the wrost ever for me. I basically didnt do any homework which was not a good Idea. I did well on test and all but yeah... I won best small role male actor for this play "On Strivers Row" in which I played Chuck. It really awsome (except during the fight scene I fell off the stage) lol School out and I have so many Seniors Im going to miss...Aleshia, Denise, Fabien, Ashley, Mel, Damien...ugh so depressiong lol anyways I still get to see Domino here for a while so thats cool. Umm Yeah Ill update somore later
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[Monday, November 22nd, 2004 @ 11:25am] |
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mood |
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 disappointed |
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music |
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Im depressed so none is on... |
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Long and dull life...I hate myself. Ive decided to go with an african Christian theme fo rmy next layout. The tiger is finally going to have its picture on my site. The only thing I hate about upgradin is that you have to buy all new pc equipmeant. My digital camara needs to be replaced along with my pc camra. I was a little naseas today so I didnt go to school.
This is nothing but a bunch of stupid thoughts.
Thos folks who cut or burn do it because they need to get rid of stress. Yet in the process they get hooked. It is amazing how many different chat and message boards you can go to and find some one who does that. Then there are those who are anorexic or bulemic. It has benn said that the worst day to die is starvation. I wonder if they have ever asked a anorexic person. I really want ot do this vegeterian thing but I dont know if i will ever get the chance to living under this roof. One day in the future i will though. If I have kids, I would give them the option to eat meat if they choose.
I am one of the only guys I know that wear their emotion on their sleeves. If Im happy you know. If Im sad you know. I really didnt know this but my emotions effect others. I always thought I affected me alone. maturity is something that all people should go through. Yet everyday I look around me and see people acting like they are only 8. Its cool to be foolish every now and then but with life you should grow wiser and mature everyday. I pray that I am mature enough. Ive let others hold back my growth but not anymore. I, still learning to love myself, yet im at the point were I can live without anyone telling me what to do. I need me. Christ Love!!!
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[Saturday, November 20th, 2004 @ 11:26pm] |
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mood |
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 blank |
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music |
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More to life (Ruff Rider Remix)-Stacie Orrico |
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Im going to try to update like everyday...even though no one really cares lol My web page is a major mess. Im going to be wroking on the layout during thanksgiving break. Im kinda sad that the whole drama thing is over. I really think Im going to start a resume/portfolio for a career in acting. Ummm...yeah thats about all...Im getting use to people calling me Chris which really is not a good thing...Love
O.kay this nothing but a rant lol
When a person dress, it should reflect their personality. I personally love the whole clasiness thing. I mean Im getting me a pair of Cowboy boots (I hate cheap looking stuff so yeah they will be real) i want them black and also Im getting a hat similar to the one I wore in the school play. I today bought this leather choker with stars...I like it but some other people may not. Lol like I really care. I hate stores that sell or carry stupid sex crap that act as if men/women are just objects to do "it" with. What about the feelings? The romantic kiss? I guess they dont exsist. My grandma God bless her does so much for me. She knows I love to experiment with clothes (I LOVE accesories) so she always looks for new stores for me. It is a shame that the stores are either Gothic or those store with the wierd stuf (buddahs, fog lamps, hermit crabs, bamboo, ect.) talkin about buddah, no offence to anyone but what is the meaning of the fat bald man?(dont answer that) Im done ranting...More Love lol
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[Saturday, November 20th, 2004 @ 1:45am] |
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mood |
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 sad |
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music |
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Reedemer-Nicole C. Mullen |
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I have decided that I would make a memory thing.
Many people are curious as to why I live my grandma. The fact that people automatically assume that my mom is a bad person or somthing like that is stupid. Its more like a personal thing. My real grandma died when I was like eight or something. That was one of the worst things in my life. My grandma took care of me while my mom went to school. YOu see my mom had me when she was only sixteen. So for like a HUGE section of my life she took care of me so when she died I was too upset. If my grandma now died I would feel the same degree of sadness yet would probobly commit suicide to show you how much she means to me. I was to young then to know about suicide or life period. Anyway I guess you could say I never got over it. As a matter of fact I cried when I began to forget things about her. I learned to live without her but its like even as I write this I miss here even though I dont remember that much about her...Ill write more l8er
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[Tuesday, November 16th, 2004 @ 8:47pm] |
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mood |
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 giggly |
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music |
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Treason-Kutless |
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Life why is that word so small and simple? When you think of how much you love and trasure it, it seems rather funny. Th eschool play is the 18th and 19th. Im listining to Skillet-Savior that song means so much. I mean all I really want in life is that savior. He came and already delivered us all from sin and the holy spirit dwells within me but trials...I hate them. I know we need them to grow stronger and wiser but they make you look at yourself in ways that you maynot like. I need to get hatred out of me. My father was not a father to me so I have a real hard time with accepting other guys...especially of my own ethnicity. The word Is very special and sacred. If you think about how this God gave these men the chance to spread his words...its amazing. Anyway I think that Im never going to get over this crush yet I have made peace with the fact that she and I are more than likly never meant to be together.
My birthday is the 18th so Im very happy...that is also the day of the school play so that is rather funny. Life means different things to different people. For example, soem people think you should help others, the Egyptians believed you were to prepare for an after life (I have no idea why Im talkin about Egypt :p lol) Well Im done ranting even thought I didnt complete my idea...LOVE
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aquastarfire's journal
